The Aviary: Center of Bird Studies, Experimentations, and Enjoyment
Well the fun begins now!!!!!!
Welcome! to a trio of the world's most professional but useless bird websites in the history, but wait, not only the past, but also the present and future, of ornithology!
We would like to introduce you to:
1) Center of Bird Studies
2) Center of Bird Experimentations
3) Center of Bird Enjoyment
These websites, in fact, are the literally ONLY places on Earth that has an aviary with birds, ranging from small to large, past to present, and we are even researching new bird species! Just take a few minutes of your extremely invaluable life on this planet and leaf over our three sites. We strongly believe that you will indeed very well agree with us when you say that "why in the world did I waste my time on other things?! I should become an ornithologist!"
All three operational buildings all in one location!
At The Aviary, we have three distinct branches. All of them with a different goal and different type of experience. So we recommend you visit all three sites to get the most best, wide ranged, and OMG feelings. Let's take a look:
The Center of Bird Studies
Welcome to Jurassic Park The Center of Bird Studies, where our staff and scientists conduct research on birds, ranging from migration and nesting patterns to bird anatomy. It is our escape/hazard frequent, unsafe, people unfriendly, super duper ultra mega top secret facility complete with 10 floors of 5 star lawyers, a 22nd century Visitor's Center, a special chemical containment room, and much, much more, featuring our special bird cages in the garage/basement, which are about 2 feet across, made to hold about 4 golden eagles, in stock, with all different kinds of birds. Here, not only you can check out our published research papers, but you can also go to the bottom floor and watch our LIVE RESEARCH as it happens!!!!!! The basement is also available(if you purchase VIP tickets) to public tours, "become a scientist for the day", and evacuations(aka BirdEscapeEmergency)!
Center of Bird Experimentations
At The Center of Bird Experimentations, our staff, scientists, and ornithologists oversee various major projects(currently there are 2 going on) that are being performed. This facility is our only completely indoors facility, featuring many important studies and enterprises. You will be surprised how well people can collaborate here, especially when we are focusing on extracting various flying pterosaur DNA from the Cretaceous age from organic fossils, and when we are fusing hybrids of different bird species. Housing almost a house full of birds, it is suffice to announce that it is also one of our biggest bird storing rooms. Not only such, but we also offer bird sales as low as $2,300.00 dollars for a small birds, such as a single rufous hummingbird. Here, our unwitting test subject volunteers, err, guests, furthermore can experience the horror, err, fun, of being mutilated, um no I mean, uh, the fun of playing with our newly made hybrid birds.
Center of Bird Enjoyment
The Center of Bird Enjoyment is a complete hands-on experience for our feeders and our unenlightened participants, err, visitors. This is our outdoor Bird Theme Park and Reserve, containing more than a thousand AvianResidents. The AvianResidents are usually outdoors during the "warm" summer months of Arizona's scorching desert(water is supplied once a month in the form of a very small partly-filled bowl to ensure the hydration of our AvianResidents), and inside specially designed indoor cages during the freezing winters of Arizona, staying in the all-natural, artificially man-made habitats specially designed for them. Well, like, kind of, stay in their habitats... some of the time. Eh you know, they are birds, after all. It's quite possible that maybe our Perimeter and Ceiling Fence Building and Repair Team is slacking off, but who knows? It's just sufficient enough to say that 96% of the team have not gone home since 1976, in which they were last seen in our field hospitals.
The Center of Bird Enjoyment is also home to several bird-watching rides and exhibits, with more than enough ambulances and doctors in our field hospitals parked and assigned near every corner of the park to handle almost every "incident" that can arise from the improper use, well, yeah and proper use, of equipment and any other accidents that may result from the agitation of our AvianResidents. Umm... ugh, except that one time in 1997. Please don't even bother to ask.
Alright! Now let's get going onto our websites!!!
Since we're still right on top of the subject, let's not get all of the lovey-dovey, ooey-gooey stuff here. The main purpose for the Warning and Welcome page is to allow some preparation time for your lunch to settle, and to make sure that your kids are out of the room before venturing further. You see, working with birds, especially the hybrid birds, ancient birds, or even the big modern birds just isn't pretty. Not that our sites aren't kid-friendly. I mean, it's that some of our AvianResidents to really LOVE kids! Just, you know, not in that way you usually think when you hear "cuddling with birds". If you feel safe sitting there at your computer, ipad, phone, cardboard box, or whatever you use, we've put a few photos on the following page to whet your appetite.
Note: We said "whet your appetite" and not "wet your pants". That'll happen when you get to The Aviary.
Got questions? Contact us at: TheAviary@yahoo.com, [redacted], or call us at [redacted] and we'll be sure to ignore you!
Thanks for reading! We hope you enjoy wasting your time on ALL THREE of our sites and we look forward to seeing you here in person at The Aviary very soon! (Can you arrive near lunchtime?)
